National Department of Trump Twitter Defense
On behalf of the American people, the government should create a black-ops division within the intelligence community known as the National Department of Trump Twitter Defense to protect all human beings against Trump’s tweets, foreign and domestic.
The Mission of the National Department of Trump Twitter Defense
The National Department of Trump Twitter Defense will hire the very best hackers and social media managers to ensure that a war isn’t started by the president’s nubby Twitter fingers.
Hackers will secretly hijack Trump’s twitter feed and reroute his tweets to an offsite headquarters which will prevent the world from seeing the crap running through his tiny little non-presidential brain. Twitter media defense agents will comment on his tweets 24 hours a day to prevent the president’s suspicion that his tweets aren’t reaching the rest of the world. A Twitter defense officer will closely monitor the defense agents to ensure that they make the most racist and insensitive comments known to man, you know,like regular comments from Trump’s base to maintain the ruse.
In case Trump figures out the mission, the National Twitter Defense Guard will be deployed to apprehend the president and politely remove his fingers and toes (Just Kidding). The NDTTD will work closely with the secret service to ensure that the President’s twitter communications are closely contained, but the two agencies will work together to remove the man-child forcefully if necessary.